In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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