Pappa wants mamma naked
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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