It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize