Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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