There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
