happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
God, I missed his penis.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize