Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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