D3 body, D1 cock
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
