Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
