you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
