Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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