Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize