but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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