My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
