My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dick very happy bro
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
