I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
