Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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