i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
