The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
