I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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