So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
