But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
