i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
