She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
