we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
