I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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