Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
