He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
