I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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