It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
