Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
