Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
