kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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