I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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