I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
