9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
