went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
