You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
