I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
