the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
