There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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