with your own penis?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
