Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize