she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
