What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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