his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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