WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
