Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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