I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize