Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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