no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
