a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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