Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
