she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
