Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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