I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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