giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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