just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
