But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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